雨前
Praying For Rainfall
何其芳
He Qifang
| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

中文:
我想起故乡放雏鸭的人了。一大群鹅黄色的雏鸭游牧在溪流间。清浅的水,两岸青青的草,一根长长的竹竿在牧人的手里。他的小队伍是多么欢欣地发出啾啁声,又多么驯服地随着他的竿头越过一个田野又一个山坡!夜来了,帐幕似的竹篷撑在地上,就是他的家。但这是怎样辽远的想象啊!在这多尘土的国度里,我仅只希望听见一点树叶上的雨声。

英文:
The scene recalls to my mind the duckling raiser in my home town. With a long bamboo pole in hand, he would look after a large flock of gosling-yellow ducklings moving about on the limpid water of a shallow brook flanked on both sides by green grass. How the little creatures jig-jigged merrily! How they obediently followed the bamboo pole to scamper over field after field, hillside after hillside! When night fell, the duckling raiser would make his home in a tent-like bamboo shed. Oh, that is something of the distant past! Now, in this dusty country of ours, what I yearn for is to hear the drip-drip of rain beating against leaves.

要点:

1,“清浅的水,两岸青青的草,一根长长的竹竿在牧人的手里” 与英语比较起来,汉语在表达思想时,有突出主题而忽略主语的现象。因此对于无主句我们通常要找主语,而主语通常为已知的信息。此处译者将此句译为With a long bamboo pole in hand, he would look after a large flock of gosling-yellow ducklings moving about on the limpid water of a shallow brook flanked on both sides by green grass.不仅译出主语,还做了变通,显出文学性,但我们在翻译这类句子是,一般采用顺译的方法,比较保险。下面两种译法供大家参考A great swarm of yellowish crane ducklings floated in the streams , the shallow blue water beneath, the green grass on both banks, and the long bamboo pole in the hands of the tender.A great crowd of light yellow ducklings would be taken to the waters of the creek----limpid water, lush green grass on the banks, and a long bamboo staff in the herder's hand.

2,“他的小队伍是多么欢欣地发出啾啁声”翻译拟声词时,虽然英语和汉语有很多词是可以对应的,但汉语的拟声词作为形容词,而英语的拟声词多为动词和名词。因此我们在翻译的时候要对词性和句形做调整。“唧唧叫”可译为cheep或chirp,jig-jig做拟声词用到的不多,(查完词典发现它居然还有些少儿不宜的意思,,,,建议大家还是用c开头的两个~
“这是怎样辽远的想象啊!”可以用how,此处用的that,同学们也可以学习下~译者使用现在时翻译,增加描述的生动性和现实感

综述:
 无主句,拟声词,感叹句,每个都不能忽略~

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