爱思英语编者按:当双方说同一句话但背后的意思可是完全不同的意思。下面就来解读一下咯,恋爱中的男女必看哦。

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WOMEN’S ENGLISH
当说这些时,女生想表达的是

Yes = No
No = Yes

Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to do that
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic and turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I want something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something terrible today
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

MEN’S ENGLISH
当说这些时,男生想表达的是

I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy

I’m tired = I’m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice tits!

You look tense = I want to fondle you
What’s wrong? = What self-inflicted psychological trauma is it this time?

What’s wrong? = I’m guessing sex is out of the question
I’m bored = Would you like to fuck?

I love you = I’d like to fuck right now
I love you, too = I really want to fuck

Let’s talk = I’d like to show you my emotional depth as a prelude to sex
Will you marry me? = I really enjoy having sex with you

 来个经典的笑话:

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她的日记:

今天,我发现我老公行为很古怪。我们约好在一家好餐厅吃晚餐。因为整天都在和姐妹们血拼,所以去迟到了,我以为他不高兴了,但他居然什么都没说。吃饭时聊天也是有一句没一句的,我提议去个安静的地方好好说会儿话。他说行,但是也没有什么话说。我问他到底出什么问题了,他说没事。我问他是不是我哪里惹他不开心了,他说没有不开心,也不是我的原因,叫我放心。回家路上,我对他说爱他。他默默地笑了一下,继续开着车。我不知道他今天为什么这么奇怪,为什么没有说我也爱你。到家后,我感觉我要彻底失去他了,他根本不想和我继续了。他就那样静静地坐着,沉默地看着电视。似乎想和我保持距离,想消失……在死寂般的沉默中,我决定去睡觉了。一刻钟后,他也上床来。但我仍然能感受出他的心不在焉,他绝对在想着其他人。当他睡着后,我止不住哭了。我该怎么办啊。他很可能是爱上其他人了。我的人生彻底完了。

他的日记:

摩托车发动不了了……妈蛋原因也没查出来。

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看看女生的闺蜜和男生的哥们有什么差别:

A woman came home and her husband asked her "Where were you last night?"
So she lied: "I was out with a friend and I slept over at her house"
So the man called ten of her best friends and all of them told him that his wife didn't spend the night at their house.

老婆回到家,老公问:“昨晚你去哪儿了?”
老婆撒谎:“和一个朋友出去玩,睡她家了。”
老公挨个打了她10个闺蜜的电话,全都说他老婆没睡在她们家。

A few days later, the man comes home and his wife asks him "Where were you last night?"
So he lied: "I was out with a friend and I slept over at his house"
So the woman called ten of his best friends - 7 of them told her that he had indeed stayed over with them, 2 of them told her that he was in fact still there at their house and the last one said "Hello Darling, sorry for not calling you earlier!"

几天后,老公回家时老婆问:“昨晚你去哪儿了?”
老公撒谎:“和一个朋友出去玩,睡他家了。”
于是老婆打给了他10个哥们-7个说“嫂子你放心,他确实睡我家”,2个说“是是是,他现在还在睡呢”,最后一个说“亲爱的,对不起啊忘了打电话给你了”……

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男女差异的至理名言:

1.A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2.A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4.To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5.Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6.Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7.Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8.A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9.A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10.There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.

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