本文由颜林海教授授权爱思英语发布,转载请注明出处和作者

爱思英语网推出全新栏目《佳作欣赏》,旨在为各位网友提供互相、探讨、交流的平台。《佳作欣赏》主要设置以下子栏目:英文写作,英汉互译,方法,人生感悟。除英文写作以外,其余子栏目中英文皆可。如果您有好的作品,请向我们推荐。原创优先,转载作品请注明作者及出处。爱思,因你而精彩;爱思,大家的平台! 学习学习

在线投稿:http www.24en.com/custom/add.html

翻译理解时采用新批评主张的封闭性阅读。所谓封闭性阅读,就是无需借助作者及其创作背景和社会历史背景,而只对文本本身进行精研细读。本篇小说是马克.吐温杜撰的一篇讽刺性小说。文中并未涉及相关的社会历史以及作者本人的背景,因此,此篇小说翻译理解时可以只需封闭性阅读,精研细读文本措辞,即可正确理解小说。正确理解后,字斟句琢地用汉语表达出来即可。

Punch, Brothers, Punch!

Mark Twain

                                       

【标题解读】

    根据新批评,封闭性阅读(close reading)就是对文本本身进行精研细读(careful scrutiny),而无需通过对作者及其创作背景和社会历史背景来阅读文本。根据第一条“精研细读文本措辞。仔细思考文本中所有字词的外延、内涵及其词源[1]。”具体到此处,就是“如果文本有标题,那么标题与诗的其他部分有什么联系?在回答这个问题之前,新批评理论与实践认为批评者应该多读几遍文本[2]。”因此,任何译者都不敢断章取义地阅读本篇小说的标题,也不敢望文生义地翻译此标题,那么这个标题与小说正文中的哪些字词句有联系呢?原来当我们读到小说第(9)句时,便明白了小说标题的来源了,原来标题出自正文中的一首诗的第(8)句。但要读到第(12)句,才明白(2)—(9)句诗的旋律是华尔兹旋律waltzing:—嚓嚓。反复阅读这几行诗,发觉punch是双关语,既是拟声词,又具有动词意义,模拟检票打孔的声音,又有检票打孔的意思。但只读第(9)句也很难翻译,只有通读并正确理解了整篇小说,才能动手翻译。原来作者使用这个标题表达的是一种迷人的华尔兹旋律,所谓“迷人”,既有“令人着迷”的意思,又有“令人着魔”的含义, 一般是先“令人着迷”,后是“令人着魔”。因此,这个标题特别难翻译。如果翻译为“嘣—嚓—嚓”,虽然吻合华尔兹的旋律,但又与原标题的内容背离。如果翻译为“检票了,伙计们,检票了”,虽然照顾到了标题的字面意义,但又让人莫名其妙,与整个小说表达的内容不相吻合。所以,此处暂且译其意:

【汉语译文】

蛊惑的旋律

马克.吐温

颜林海译

【英语原文】

(1)Will the reader please to cast his eye over the following verses, and see if he can discover anything harmful in them?

(2)“Conductor, when you receive a fare,

(3)Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

(4)A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,

(5)A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,

(6)A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,

(7)Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

CHORUS

(8)Punch, brothers! punch with care!

(9)Punch in the presence of the passenjare!”

【原文解读】

     无论是文章,还是小说,开头极为重要,本篇小说,作者以“纪实手法”写作,开头便以问句形式设置悬念(1),吸引读者阅读下去。(2)—(9)句,根据下文(12)句,此处几行韵文的节奏是按华尔兹节奏撰写。华尔兹的节奏:每小节多为三步,也有二步或四步。三步节奏为:“嘣—嚓—嚓”,二步节奏:嘣—嚓;四步节奏:嘣—嚓—嘣—嚓。2,4,5,6,8句有九个音节,三步节奏,3,7,9句有十个音节,二步节奏,所有诗行末尾音节都押同形同韵,典型的顺口溜韵。

【汉语译文】

    各位看官,请高抬贵眼,读读下面诗句,看看是否一读着魔,好吗?

    “售票员,你收钱,

      检票时,当面检!

      蓝色票,八分钱,

      黄色票,六分钱,

      粉色票,三分钱,

      检票时,当面检!

  合唱

      检票了,伙计们!小心了,票要检!

      检票时,当面检!检票时!当面检!”

【翻译津要】

(1)由于本篇小说是讽刺性小说,所以将reader译为汉语旧时话本或旧体小说中的用词,即“看官”其中see if he can discover anything harmful in them字义为:看看他是否能发现诗文中有害的东西,此处译为:看看是否一读着魔。(2)-(9)翻译时2-7句译为两个三步节奏,8和9句译为四个三步节奏。整首诗采用顺口溜格式,押同韵。其中passenjare翻译时融入“当面检”中,即“当着乘客的面检”。尽管原文(9)与(3), (7)完全相同, 但(3)(7)两句都译为:“检票时,当面检!”而(9)句为了与(8)句相对应,翻译时重复了一遍。

【英语原文】

(10)I came across these jingling rhymes in a newspaper, a little while ago, and read them a couple of times.(11)They took instant and entire possession of me.(12)All through breakfast they went waltzing through my brain; and when, at last, I rolled up my napkin, I could not tell whether I had eaten anything or not.(13) I had carefully laid out my day's work the day before, -- a thrilling tragedy in the novel which I am writing.(14) I went to my den to begin my deed of blood.(15) I took up my pen, but all I could get it to say was, "Punch in the presence of the passenjare."(16) I fought hard for an hour, but it was useless.(17) My head kept humming, "A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, a buff trip slip for a six-cent fare," and so on and so on, without peace or respite.(18) The day's work was ruined -- I could see that plainly enough.(19) I gave up and drifted down town, and presently discovered that my feet were keeping time to that relentless jingle.(20) When I could stand it no longer I altered my step.(21) But it did no good; those rhymes accommodated themselves to the new step and went on harassing me just as before.(22) I returned home, and suffered all the afternoon; suffered all through an unconscious and unrefreshing dinner; suffered, and cried, and jingled all through the evening; went to bed and rolled, tossed, and jingled right along, the same as ever; got up at midnight frantic, and tried to read; but there was nothing visible upon the whirling page except "Punch! punch in the presence of the passenjare." (23)By sunrise I was out of my mind, and everybody marveled and was distressed at the idiotic burden of my ravings, -- "Punch! oh, punch! punch in the presence of the passenjare!"

【原文解读】

    作者对以上顺口溜的来源进行了交代(10),实际上是作者的托辞,以期读者继续读下去,并以自己为例说明这个顺口“一读着魔”(11)的危害(harmful):早晨毁了(12),本来计划好了今天的工作--写作(13)(14),也因满脑子的顺口溜的旋律(15)而全毁了(18),怎么挣扎也没有用(16),挥之不去的还是那旋律(17)。作者无奈,只好出门游荡,但仍然摆脱不了那旋律,连走路的节奏也是那旋律(19)。直到自己忍受不了,才改变一下步伐节奏(20),但很快步奏有跟上了那旋律(21),回到家里,整个下午,晚餐,晚上,睡觉,看书全是那顺口溜的华尔兹旋律(22)。如此这般折腾谁受得了,作者不疯了,谁还疯?这种疯劲让人吃惊,让人同情(23),这都是那顺口溜的华尔兹旋律惹的祸。从写作角度看,(12)—(23)句都是围绕着(11)They took instant and entire possession of me在描写,即我怎样着魔的,以及着魔后的结果。前面我们说过华尔兹很迷人。迷人的本质是,先令人着迷,后令人着魔。那就意味这个过程是一个先传后染的过程,这正是蛊惑的特征。但作者用如此长的段落了只描写了自己着魔后果。至于如何着迷,作者只是一笔带过。我们知道小说的核心要素是情节,所谓情节,简言之,就是事件的过程。如果作者就此打住,那么这篇小说也就没有多大意义,最多不过是一个道听途说或杜撰的趣事而已。既然是一篇小说,后文必然情节,到底这首顺口溜是怎样先传后染,从而达到蛊惑人的呢?且听下节分解。

【汉语译文】

     这几句顺口溜是不久前我在报纸偶然看到的。我读了好几遍后,立刻,就被它完全迷住了。这几句顺口溜有着华尔兹的旋律,萦绕在我的脑海里,挥之不去;最后我收起了餐巾,吃没吃早餐,我也说不清了。前一天,我都精心安排好了今天的工作,——描写一场撼人心魄的悲剧,那是我正在创作的小说中的一部分。我回到自己的巢穴,开始自己呕心沥血之作。一旦提起笔,脑子想起的全是那“检票了,当面检”的旋律。我竭力挣扎了一个小时,但都无济于事。脑海里不断地轰鸣着“蓝色票,八分钱;黄色票,六分钱”,如此反复,从不间断,没有片刻的安宁,没有片刻的稍息。今天的工作就这样毁了,----对此,我非常明白。我放下手上的工作,在镇上四处晃荡,不久便发觉,我的脚跟着那顺口溜机械地踏着节拍。实在忍受不了时,我才改变步伐的节奏。但这并不管用;那些顺口溜自动适应了新的步伐节奏,继续骚扰着我,就像刚才那样。我回到家里,折腾了整个下午;折腾了整个晚餐,晚餐没有一点儿滋味,没有一点儿感觉;整个晚上也都在折腾着、叫喊着,发出嘣--嚓--嚓的旋律声;躺上床,却翻来覆去睡不着,照旧不停地发出嘣--嚓--嚓的旋律声;深夜我从床上爬了起来,心里乱极了,于是试着看看书;但什么也看不进,只有那旋转的书页伴着那首旋律:“检票了,当面检,检票了,当面检”。黎明时分,我失去了理智,人们都吃惊地看着我那傻瓜似的胡言乱语,为那合唱叠句而悲伤----“检票了!当面检!,检票了,当面检!”

【翻译津要】

(10)原文I came across these jingling rhymes in a newspaper, a little while ago, and read them a couple of times英语是主语突出的语言(subject prominent languag)而汉语是话题突出的语言(topic prominent languag)。其中jingling rhymes字义为:押同韵的韵文,此处译为:顺口溜,并在译文中作话题主语。此句由两个小句组成,第二个小句刈分为独立句子,并与下面句子依并在一起。(11)此句翻译时,处理成被动句,用“我”作主语,与上一句依并在一起,同时此句中的“我”承上,遗而不译。(12)原文All through breakfast they went waltzing through my brain中they是指上文的the jiggling rhymes;waltzing刈分为小句。went through译为:“萦绕在我的脑海里”,根据上下文同义增益“挥之不去”。(13)原文I had carefully laid out my day's work the day before, -- a thrilling tragedy in the novel which I am writing中laid out意为:计划,准备;此处译为:安排。A thrilling tragedy…是work的同位语,定于从句刈分为小句。(14)原文I went to my den to begin my deed of blood中my deed 指前一句中的“I am writing the novel”,blood指性命,翻译时不能照搬字典字义,此处译为:呕心沥血之作。(15)此处翻译时增益了前面提及的华尔兹的“旋律”一词。(16)不难翻译。(17)原文and so on and so on, without peace or respite翻译时,刈分为4个小句。(18)不难翻译。(19)原文I gave up and drifted down town, and presently discovered that my feet were keeping time to that relentless jingle中gave up翻译时根据上文增益宾语“手中的工作”。keep time to…意为:踏着……节拍。(20)不难翻译。(21)原文just as before字义为:正如前面所述。此处根据情境译为:就像刚才那样。(22)原文jingled字义:发出叮当声,此处译为:发出嘣嚓嚓的旋律声.(23)原文everybody marveled and was distressed at the idiotic burden of my ravings中at分别与marveled和was distressed搭配,本文中的burden指前文顺口溜中的(8)(9)两句的合唱叠句。

【英语原文】

(24)Two days later, on Saturday morning, I arose, a tottering wreck, and went forth to fulfil an engagement with a valued friend, the Rev. Mr.------ , to walk to the Talcott Tower, ten miles distant.(25) He stared at me, but asked no questions.(26) We started.(27) Mr. ------ talked, talked, talked -- as is his wont.(28) I said nothing; I heard nothing.(29) At the end of a mile, Mr. ------ said, --

(30)“Mark, are you sick? I never saw a man look so haggard and worn and absent-minded. Say something; do!”

(31)Drearily, without enthusiasm, I said: "Punch, brothers, punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!"

(32)My friend eyed me blankly, looked perplexed, then said, --

(33) “I do not think I get your drift, Mark.(34) There does not seem to be any relevancy in what you have said, certainly nothing sad; and yet -- maybe it was the way you said the words -- I never heard anything that sounded so pathetic.(35) What is -- 

【原文解读】

    前面说这首顺口溜是具有先传后染,从而达到蛊惑人的作用,那么到底是怎样先传后染的呢?作者通过描写自己是如何传染给人来描写顺口溜的蛊惑性。(24)仍然描写被蛊惑的后果:作者成了一具一戳即倒的行尸走肉,虽说是行尸走肉,但毕竟还能“行”还能“走”去践约见一个牧师朋友,一起去十英里外的塔尔柯特塔。值得注意到是作者此处用了一个“牧师(the Rev)”一词,表明这个朋友是一个心善的朋友,但作者不愿说出其真实姓名,故用来省略号表示(译为“某先生”)。这种手法,也旨在证明作者讲述的内容是真实的,当然这只有欺骗那些无知之人了。某先生只是吃惊地看着,并没有问为什么(25)。作者奇怪的一举一动,也许是个人隐私,所以牧师朋友自然就不问了。二人开始步行至约定地点了(26),一路上“某先生”不停地说啊,说,作者用了一个句子as is his wont(27),既然是wont,那就意味着,talk是某先生谋生的手段,至少说与talk有关,即靠嘴吃饭。靠嘴吃饭,离不开听。不管是好听的,还是不好听的,只有先听,才知道怎样开口应答。这种人遇到蛊惑之辞或蛊惑的旋律,往往会先着迷,后着魔。而作者自己仍然处于行尸走肉的状态,不说话,听不见东西(28)。这种一人闭嘴不言的约会必定尴尬,打破尴尬的方式就是让人说话,走了一英里,某先生自然忍不住开口说话了(29)。某先生问这问那,关怀备至(30),这无疑自求着魔。处于着魔状态的作者重复着那首传而染的顺口溜(31)。某先生一听有点好奇,说话是开始有点华尔兹节奏了, “I do not /think,I get /your drift, Mark”(33),随后又开始流畅起来(34),注意此句中的破折号表示某先生开始调整自己的说话节奏了,即向华尔兹三节拍这个节奏靠拢。话还没说完……(35),作者开始描写自己着魔状态。

【汉语译文】

     两天后,星期六的早晨,我从床上爬了起来,身体就像是一具一戳即倒的行尸走肉,但我还要去赴约,和一个重要的朋友,牧师某先生,步行到十英里外的塔尔科特塔。他惊讶地看着我,但没有问我任何问题。我们开始步行了。某先生唠啊,唠啊,不停地唠,这是他的习惯了。我什么也没说,什么也没听见。走了一英里,某先生问:“马克,你病了?我可从未见过神情如此憔悴疲惫,如此心不在焉的人。说点啥,说!”我心情郁闷,无精打采地说:检票了,伙计们!小心了,要检票!检票时,当面检!检票时!当面检!”

朋友茫然地看着我,一脸疑惑,接着说:

    马克,我想我不明白你的意思。你说的话前言不搭后语,当然不是什么伤心的事; 可……也许,这是你说话的风格……可听起来如此悲伤的事,我倒是闻所未闻。发生什……”

 

【翻译津要】

(24)原文Two days later, on Saturday morning, I arose, a tottering wreck, and went forth to fulfil an engagement with a valued friend, the Rev. Mr. ------ , to walk to the Talcott Tower, ten miles distant其中to walk to…miles distant是an engagement的同位语,表示约会的内容。故将went forth to fulfil an engagement 与with a valued friend,the Rev. Mr------,to walk…刈分开,译为:“要去赴约,和一个重要的朋友,牧师某先生,步行到十英里外的塔尔科特塔。”(25)(26)(27)原文as is his wont意味着某先生的职业与talk有关。下文有交代。(28)(29)(30)三句不难翻译。(31)原文Drearily, without enthusiasm, I said翻译时将dearily刈分为小句。故译为:“我心情郁闷,无精打采地说”也可以将介词短语without enthusiasm 易为动词而译为:“我心情郁闷,说话时也提不起精神”。(32)不难翻译。(33)原文“I do not think I get your drift”中drift意为:gist or general meaning. 也可以易句而译:“马克,你把我搞糊涂了。”(34)不难翻译。(35)原文“What is...”应该是“What is the matter with you?”的省略句。

【英语原文】

(36)But I heard no more.(37) I was already far away with my pitiless, heart-breaking blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, buff trip slip for a six- cent fare, pink trip slip for a three-cent fare; punch in the presence of the passenjare.” (38)I do not know what occurred during the other nine miles.(39) However, all of a sudden Mr. ------ laid his hand on my shoulder and shouted, --

(40)Oh, wake up! wake up! wake up! Don't sleep all day! Here we are at the Tower, man!”(41)I have talked myself deaf and dumb and blind, and never got a response.(42)“Just look at this magnificent autumn landscape! (43)Look at it! look at it! (44)Feast your eyes on it! (45)You have traveled; you have seen boasted landscapes elsewhere.(46) Come, now, deliver an honest opinion.(47) What do you say to this?”

(48)I sighed wearily, and murmured, --

(49)“A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, a pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, punch in the presence of the passenjare.

【原文解读】

    此句(36)是承接上一句(35)What is…中的省略号的内容,表明作者仍然处于着魔状态:什么也听不见。甚至情况更糟(37),发生了什么事,也不知道(38)。既然朋友是牧师,自然心善,关心朋友理所当然,但一旦关心,言语自然少不了,一旦开口说话(39),便开始中招着魔了,说话节奏开始带着华尔兹的节拍(40) “Oh, wake up!/ wake up!/ wake up!/ Don't sleep all day!/ Here we are /at the Tower, man! /”。此时作者自顾自地喃喃自语(41)不停地在传播那顺口溜的旋律,搭话必中招,某先生不知就里,不知不觉地中招,所以说话也间或带着顺口溜旋律(42)-(47)。作者自己无可奈何(48),重复着顺口溜的旋律(49)。

【汉语译文】

    可后面的话我就没听清了。我的情况变得越来越糟,“蓝色票,八分钱;黄色票,六分钱;粉色票,三分钱;检票时,当面检”,冷酷无情,又让人肝肠裂断。我不知道余下九英里发生了什么事。然而,某先生突然把手放在我的肩头上,喊道:

   嘿,醒!醒!醒!大白天,别睡觉!伙计,到了,塔尔科特塔到了!”我自顾自地念念有词,听不见,说不出,看不见,还不答话。“那就瞧瞧这壮丽的秋色!瞧瞧!瞧瞧这秋色!一饱眼福吧!你去过许多地方,你在别处见过令人引以自豪的景色。来,现在,说一说你的见解,坦率点(儿)。这景色,怎么样?”我困极了,叹了一口气,喃喃自语:

   “黄色票,六分钱;粉色票,三分钱;检票时,当面检。”

【翻译津要】

(36)原文 “But I heard no more”是承接上一句“What is…”中的省略号。翻译时增益“后面的话”以承接上一句。(37)原文I was already far away with my pitiless, heart-breaking “blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, buff trip slip for a six- cent fare, pink trip slip for a three-cent fare; punch in the presence of the passenjare.”中I was already far away表示事情越来越糟,pitiless和heart-breaking修饰括号中的内容,翻译时,将修饰语与被修饰语移位。先译被修饰语,后译修饰语。(40)原文此句节奏为华尔兹节奏“Oh, wake up!/ wake up!/ wake up! /Don't sleep all day!/ Here we are/ at the Tower, man!”刈分也处理成华尔兹节奏“嘿,醒!醒!醒!/大白天,/别睡觉!/伙计,到了/塔尔科特塔到了!/”(41)原文I have talked myself deaf and dumb and blind, and never got a response此处描写作者“我”着魔时的状体,故将have talked myself译为“念念有词”,根据《汉语辞海》“念念:不停地念诵。旧指迷信的人祈祷时不停地念着口语,以通神灵。现多用来形容人嘟嘟囔囔说个不停。”此处指前者。(42)--(47)表示某先生中招后,说话带着华尔兹节奏,因此译文措辞也要保持这种节奏。(48)原文I sighed wearily, and murmured其中wearily刈分为小句:“我很困乏”;murmur是拟声词,译为汉语拟声词:“喃喃自语”。

【英语原文】

(50)Rev. Mr.------ stood there, very grave, full of concern, apparently, and looked long at me; then he said, --

(51) “Mark, there is something about this that I cannot understand.(52) Those are about the same words you said before; there does not seem to be anything in them, and yet they nearly break my heart when you say them.(53) Punch in the -- how is it they go?”

(54)I began at the beginning and repeated all the lines.(55) My friend's face lighted with interest. He said, --

(56)“Why, what a captivating jingle it is! It is almost music.(57) It flows along so nicely.(58) I have nearly caught the rhymes myself.(59) Say them over just once more, and then I'll have them, sure.”

【原文解读】

   (50)描写某先生对作者的关心,关心越多,中招可能性越大。(51)如果说作者机械地重复顺口溜是在“传”授咒语,那么某先生主动问咒语是何含义,就是中招“染”疾了(52)—(53)。某先生说的其他话,作者听而不闻,但当某先生问顺口溜中某一个字词怎么说时(53),作者大脑却非常清楚,并主动重复顺口溜(54)。听后,某先生开始着迷:脸色发亮,充满兴趣(55),并赞不绝口(56)—(58);最后进一步要求作者重复一遍(59),主动要求记住这旋律。这无疑是自求着魔,自讨苦吃。

【汉语译文】

    牧师某先生站在那儿,一脸的严肃,显然充满着关切,看了我好一会儿,接着说:

   “马克,我还有些东西不明白。就是你刚才重复的字词,仿佛里面也没什么名堂,可是,你说出来时,我的心都快碎了。检票了,当面……怎么说来着?”

    于是我从头开始,把所有的诗行重复了一篇。我的朋友脸上发光,兴趣盎然。他说:

    “哦,好动听的顺口溜!简直就是音乐,舒缓而动听。这旋律,我几乎都记住了。只要再重复一遍,我就可以全部记住,保准记住。”

【翻译津要】

(50)将very grave和full of concern刈分为小句翻译。(51)中的this指(49)句 “A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, a pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, punch in the presence of the passenjare” (52)此句中there does not seem to be anything in them。不要字对字地译为:在它们你面好像有任何东西。根据情境译为:仿佛里面也没什么名堂。and yet they nearly break my heart when you say them中and yet 表示弱性转折,they和them指前文the same words,翻译时,用“我的心”作主语。(53)how is it they go?即how do they go?they指(49)句的顺口溜。(55)with interest刈分为小句,译为:兴趣盎然。(56)jingle指顺口溜及其旋律,(57)此句中的it指上一句中的 music,此句翻译时,与上一句依并在一起。(59)sure翻译时刈分为句子。

【英语原文】

(60)I said them over.(61) Then Mr. ------ said them.(62) He made one little mistake, which I corrected.(63) The next time and the next he got them right.(64) Now a great burden seemed to tumble from my shoulders.(65) That torturing jingle departed out of my brain, and a grateful sense of rest and peace descended upon me.(66) I was light-hearted enough to sing; and I did sing for half an hour, straight along, as we went jogging homeward.(67) Then my freed tongue found blessed speech again, and the pent talk of many a weary hour began to gush and flow.(68) It flowed on and on, joyously, jubilantly, until the fountain was empty and dry.(69) As I wrung my friend's hand at parting, I said, --

(70) “Haven’t we had a royal good time! (71)But now I remember, you haven't said a word for two hours.(72) Come, come, out with something!”

【原文解读】

    前面说过,当某先生主动要求作者重复咒语般的旋律是,作者头脑非常清楚,所以作者主动重复那咒语般的旋律(60)。而某先生不明就里地“自愿”中招(61)。作者甚至还耐心地反复纠正某先生的错误(62)(63)。作者魔咒传递接力结束,自然消失(64),一身轻松(65),高兴得唱起歌来(66),言辞也自然起来(67)。作者用了一句描写句加隐喻修辞格来描述自己活动自由的欢快(68)。并感激某先生(69),发出内心地说出自己快乐的心情,作者并不知道某先生已经中招着魔:两个小时不说话(71),见状,要求某先生说话(72)。从写作角度看,作者此处这样描写,其实就是为了引出对某先生着魔的状态。

【汉语译文】

    我又说了一遍。某先生跟着说了一遍。他只犯了一个小错误,我给他纠正了过来。他试了一次后,又试一次,随后全部记住了。这时,我的肩头一下子如释负重了。那揪心的顺口溜从我的脑海中消失了,一种安静舒适的庆幸感缓缓从天而降。我感到轻松愉快,便唱起歌来;回家的路上,我们一边快步小跑,我一边唱歌,足足唱了半个小时。随后,我的舌头获得了自由,再次吐出了欢快的言语,那郁闷了许久而禁锢的话匣子开始如泉水一般,滔滔不绝,源源不断,不停地流啊,流,欢快地流淌着,直到山泉枯竭。我紧握着朋友的手,向他告别,说:

    “今天玩得真爽!不过,我现在还记得,两个小时,你一个字也没说。来,来,说句话!”

【翻译津要】

    (67)原文Then my freed tongue found blessed speech again, and the pent talk of many a weary hour began to gush and flow。其中freed tongue命题结构形式为:freed (my tongue, ),表层句子形式为:my tongue was freed. 译为:“我的舌头获得了自由”。Found不宜照搬词典译为:“找到”而应措辞为:“吐出”。Talk不宜照搬词典译为:“谈话”,此处应措辞为:“话匣子”。Gush and flow属于同义重复,两个词都是拟声词,表示水流动的声音,汉语译文同样采用同义重复,巧妙运用汉语“形”和“声”,即“滔滔”与“源源”来翻译,故这两个词译为:“滔滔不绝,源源不断”。此句翻译时增益了“如山泉”,是根据后一句中的“the fountain was empty and dry”中的fountain。(68)原文It flowed on and on, joyously, jubilantly, until the fountain was empty and dry。其中joyously和jubilantly与empty and dry属于同义重复,汉语用词也采用同义重复,前两个词译为:欢快地(即欢乐快活地),后连个词译为:枯竭。(70)原文have a royal good time中royal good 属于同义重复,起强调作用,翻译时不要字面择义,而应该字斟句酌地措辞。此处根据情境译为:真爽。(72)此句中的come与out with…具有双关含义,既表示“催促”含义,与out with搭配有具有“说话”的意义。所以作者重复come并用逗号隔开。

【英语原文】

(73) The Rev.Mr. ------ turned a lack-lustre eye upon me, drew a deep sigh, and said, without animation, without apparent consciousness, --

(74) “Punch, brothers, punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!”

(75) A pang shot through me as I said to myself, “Poor fellow, poor fellow! he has got it, now.”

【原文解读】

    (73)描写牧师某先生着魔状态:眼无光泽,唉声叹气,没有生气,没有意识。(74)耳畔响起了那顺口溜的旋律声。(75)一听到牧师先生唠叨那顺口溜,心都拧紧了。

【汉语译文】

    牧师某先生转动着一只缺乏光泽的眼睛看着我,深深地叹了一口气,开始说话,没了生气,一看就是没了意识。

   “检票了,伙计们!小心了,要检票!检票时,当面检!检票时!当面检!”

    突然一阵剧痛向我刺来,原来我在喃喃自语:“可怜的朋友,可怜的朋友,他中招了。”

【翻译津要】

(73) 将介词短语without animation, without apparent consciousness分别译为两个小句。(75) 原文A pang shot through me as I said to myself, “Poor fellow, poor fellow! he has got it, now.” 其中shot所表示的动作带有迅速性和突然性,因此,翻译时增益了“突然”一词;其中as既表示“原因”,所以增益“原来”,又表示“时间”,可译为“每当”,即:每当我重复“Poor fellow,/ poor fellow! /he has got it, now”这种华尔兹节拍(即三节拍),便会产生一阵剧痛。此句也可以译为:“每当我喃喃自语:‘可怜的朋友,可怜的朋友,他中招了’,我心里便产生一阵剧痛。”

【英语原文】

(76) I did not see Mr.------ for two or three days after that.(77) Then, on Tuesday evening, he staggered into my presence and sank dejectedly into a seat.(78) He was pale, worn; he was a wreck.(79) He lifted his faded eyes to my face and said, --

【原文解读】

    (76)牧师着魔的结果是作者两三天不见其踪影。虽然最终露面了,也是狼狈不堪:神情沮丧(77),脸色苍白(78), 连眼睛也失去了光泽(79)。

【汉语译文】

    从那以后,我有两三天没有见过某先生了。后来,星期二晚上,他跌跌撞撞地来到我面前,一屁股跌坐在椅子上,神情沮丧,脸色苍白而憔悴,简直就是一具枯槁般的躯壳。他抬起那失去光泽的眼睛,看着我的脸,说:

【翻译津要】

    (76)不难翻译。(77)原文Then, on Tuesday evening, he staggered into my presence and sank dejectedly into a seat。其中sank into a seat翻译时,要想象其中的意象情景,故译为:“一屁股跌坐在椅子上”。其中dejectedly刈分为小句:“神情沮丧”置于此句末,以便和下一句依并在一起。(78)原文He was pale, worn; he was a wreck此句与上一句都在描写He,因此,翻译时采用依并法合在一起翻译,代词he遗而不译。其中wreck是指A wreck is something such as a ship, car, plane, or building which has been destroyed, usually in an accident(见《柯林斯高级英语学习词典第5版》),当wreck用来形容人时,如 he was a wreck便是一个隐喻。故he was a wreck译为:简直就是一具枯槁般的躯壳。(79)不难翻译。

【英语原文】

(80) “Ah, Mark, it was a ruinous investment that I made in those heartless rhymes.(81) They have ridden me like a nightmare, day and night, hour after hour, to this very moment.(82) Since I saw you I have suffered the torments of the lost.(83) Saturday evening I had a sudden call, by telegraph, and took the night train for Boston.(84) The occasion was the death of a valued old friend who had requested that I should preach his funeral sermon.(85) I took my seat in the cars and set myself to framing the discourse.(86) But I never got beyond the opening paragraph; for then the train started and the car-wheels began their 'clack, clack -- clack-clack-clack! clack, clack -- clack-clack-clack!' and right away those odious rhymes fitted themselves to that accompaniment.(87) For an hour I sat there and set a syllable of those rhymes to every separate and distinct clack the car-wheels made.(88) Why, I was as fagged out, then, as if I had been chopping wood all day.(89) My skull was splitting with headache.(90) It seemed to me that I must go mad if I sat there any longer; so I undressed and went to bed.(91) I stretched myself out in my berth, and -- well, you know what the result was.(92) The thing went right along, just the same.(93) ‘Clack-clack-clack, a blue trip slip, clack-clack-clack, for an eight-cent fare; clack-clack-clack, a buff trip slip, clack-clack-clack, for a six-cent fare’, and so on, and so on, and so on – ‘punch, in the presence of the passenjare!’ (94) Sleep? Not a single wink! I was almost a lunatic when I got to Boston.(95) Don't ask me about the funeral.(96) I did the best I could, but every solemn individual sentence was meshed and tangled and woven in and out with ‘Punch, brothers, punch with care, punch in the presence of the passenjare.’ (97)And the most distressing thing was that my delivery dropped into the undulating rhythm of those pulsing rhymes, and I could actually catch absent-minded people nodding time to the swing of it with their stupid heads.(98) And, Mark, you may believe it or not, but before I got through, the entire assemblage were placidly bobbing their heads in solemn unison, mourners, undertaker, and all.(99) The moment I had finished, I fled to the anteroom in a state bordering on frenzy.(100) Of course it would be my luck to find a sorrowing and aged maiden aunt of the deceased there, who had arrived from Springfield too late to get into the church.(101) She began to sob, and said, --

【原文解读】

    两三天没见的朋友,再相见时便讲述了自己着魔经历及其后果:毁灭性结果(80),噩梦(81),备受折磨(82),讲述自己去波士顿的经历(83),作者用occasion(84)一词来解释(83)句的原因。一听到火车声,脑里便响起顺口溜的旋律(85)。这种声音一直不断,即使在火车上构思悼词(86),也伴随着那顺口溜的声音(86),而且总是把火车声与顺口溜声混杂在一起(87)。最后导致牧师某先生疲惫不堪(88),头撕裂般的疼痛(89),所以只好上床睡觉(90),但躺在床上(91),事态仍然没有改观(92):仍然不停地响起那顺口溜的旋律(93)。如此折腾,自然难以入睡,反而让人疯狂(94),当然更不用说葬礼了(95):在葬礼上,某先生把悼词中的一字一句都与顺口溜的旋律混杂在一起(96)(97),在葬礼,把魔咒传染给了整个参加葬礼的人(98)。最后当葬礼结束,自己已经快疯了(99)。好在,某先生终于找到一个机会,可以把魔咒传染给别人,即死者的姑姑(101)。

【汉语译文】

    “哦,马克,那无情的顺口溜让我太投入了,简直就是毁灭性的。那旋律像噩梦一般折磨着我,这种折磨,日夜不断,无时不在,此时此刻都还折磨着我。自从见了你以后,我就遭受着这种毁灭性带来的种种折磨。星期六傍晚,我突然得到一封电报通知,于是就赶了夜班火车去了波士顿。原来是一位尊贵的老友过世了,老友生前要求我给他主持葬礼。我在车厢里找了座位,开始构思悼词。但我连开场白都没构思完,因为当时火车启动后,车轮开始发出声音,‘咔嚓,咔嚓—咔—嚓—嚓!咔嚓,咔嚓—咔—嚓—嚓’;立刻,那邪恶的旋律和着车轮节奏响了起来。我在那儿坐了一个小时,把那些旋律的每一音符都与车轮发出的每一个不同的咔嚓声和起来了。哎,我累极了,仿佛干了一整天的伐木活。脑袋撕裂般地疼痛着。对我来说,要是再多坐一会儿,我一定会疯掉的,所以我脱掉衣服,上床睡觉去了。我舒展身体躺在铺位里;哎,结果可想而知了。情况如旧,事态依然没有改观。‘咔—嚓—嚓,蓝色票,咔—嚓—嚓,八分钱,咔—嚓—嚓,黄色票,咔—嚓—嚓,六分钱。如此反复,从不间断,没完没了——检票了,当面检。’睡觉?眼睛都没有眨一下!到了波士顿,我都快疯了。葬礼的事儿,你就别提了。我尽力了,但布道内容的一字一句与顺口溜啮合无缝,相互纠结,相互缠绕:“检票了,伙计们,小心了,要检票;检票时,当面检;检票时,当面检。”最令人头痛的是,我的悼词坠入那节律明显的、节奏起伏的旋律中了。我竟然看见那些心不在焉的人用他们愚蠢的脑袋跟着旋律节拍点着头。还有,马克,不管你信也好,不信也好,但我布道结束前,整个会场显得很平静,人们齐刷刷地点着头,表情庄重而又严肃。这些人中有送葬者,也有殡礼承办者等等。葬礼一结束,我就逃到休息室,人都快要疯了。当然,我还真够幸运,在那儿碰见了死者的姑姑,一位上了年纪、终身未嫁、伤心的女士,她来自于斯普林菲尔德,因为来晚了,没进教堂。她开始抽泣,说:

【翻译津要】

    (80)原文it was a ruinous investment that I made in those heartless rhymes中的investment是指“the spending of time or effort on something in order to make it a success”(见《柯林斯高级英语学习词典第5版》),而不是指“the spending of money on something”;故此处将investment译为:太投入了;ruinous指ruining me。翻译时,将ruinous刈分为小句。(81)They have ridden me like a nightmare, day and night, hour after hour, to this very moment中ridden意为:压迫,折磨。此句翻译时刈分为若干小句,并增益“折磨”一词。(82)原文Since I saw you I have suffered the torments of the lost中the lost指上一句中ruinous即ruining me带来的结果,故译为:这种毁灭性。(83)此句不难翻译。(84)中occasion意为:理由。译为:原来是。(85)set oneself to 意为:开始;framing the discourse意为:设计演说词,此处译为:构思悼词。(86)原文But I never got beyond the opening paragraph; for then the train started and the car-wheels began their ‘clack, clack -- clack-clack-clack! clack, clack -- clack-clack-clack!’ and right away those odious rhymes fitted themselves to that accompaniment其中that accompaniment指火车车轮声(的节奏)即“clack,clack”,rhymes指上文提及的顺口溜的华尔兹节奏,此处属于幻听声,故作者写成“clack-clack-clack”。因此,火车轮声“clack,clack”译为:“咔嚓,咔嚓”,而幻听声“clack-clack-clack”译为:“咔—嚓—嚓”。(87)set a syllable of… to …clack译为:把那些旋律的每一音符都与车轮发出的每一个不同的咔嚓声和起来了。(88)fag out:make (a person or an animal) very tired 译为:累极了。(89) (90)(91)此句不难翻译。(92)此句翻译时采取同义增益。(93)(94)(95)不难翻译。(96)此句中meshed,tangled 和woven属于同义重复,其强调,翻译时也同义重复。(97)此句中的time意为:“节奏”。(98)got through意为:结束。其中mourners,undertaker and all是the entire assemblage的同位语。 (99)原文in a state bordering on frenzy字义为:处于疯狂的边缘,此处译为:快要疯了。

【英语原文】

(102) “‘Oh, oh, he is gone, he is gone, and I didn't see him before he died!’

(103)“‘Yes!’ I said, ‘he is gone, he is gone, he is gone - oh, will this suffering never cease!’

(104)“‘You loved him, then! Oh, you too loved him!’

(105)“‘Loved him! Loved who?’

(106)“‘Why, my poor George! my poor nephew!’

(107)“‘Oh -- him! Yes -- oh, yes, yes. Certainly -- certainly. Punch -- punch -- oh, this misery will kill me!’

(108)“‘Bless you! bless you, sir, for these sweet words! I, too, suffer in this dear loss.(109) Were you present during his last moments?’

(110)“‘Yes! I -- whose last moments?’

(111)“‘His. The dear departed’s.’

(112)“‘Yes! Oh, yes -- yes -- yes! I suppose so, I think so, I don't know! Oh, certainly -- I was there -- I was there!’

(113)“‘Oh, what a privilege! what a precious privilege! And his last words -- oh, tell me, tell me his last words! What did he say?’

(114)“‘He said -- he said -- oh, my head, my head, my head!(115) He said -- he said -- he never said anything but Punch, punch, punch in the presence of the passenjare! Oh, leave me, madam!(116) In the name of all that is generous, leave me to my madness, my misery, my despair! -- a buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, a pink trip slip for a three-cent fare - endu-rance can no fur-ther go! -- PUNCH in the presence of the passenjare!’”

【原文解读】

    (102)—(116)是牧师某先生与死者的姑姑之间的对话,整个对话的语音节奏都是按顺口溜的华尔兹节拍设计。但牧师先生竭力在与自己的良心做挣扎,但自己的良心最终战胜了自己将魔咒传染他人的邪心(116):请求死者的姑姑离开自己,宁愿自己疯狂,自己痛苦,自己绝望,也不愿将魔咒传染给死者姑姑,所以他不停地跟着三节拍旋律说话,这样,只要死者姑姑停止接某先生的话,她就不会着魔。

【汉语译文】

“‘哎,哎,他走了,他走了,最后一面,也没见!’

“‘是啊!’我说道,‘他走了,他走了,他走了——哎,这痛苦,没完了!’

“‘你爱他!哦,你爱他!爱他!爱谁?’

“‘哎,我可怜的乔治!我可怜的侄!’

“‘哦,他!是,哦,是,是。肯定的……肯定的。检票了,检票了,哦,这痛苦,要命了!’

“‘祝福您!祝福您,先生,托你吉言了!丧亲痛,我深感。他临终,你在吗?’

“‘是的!我……谁临终?’

“‘他临终。亲人的临终。’

“‘是的!哦,是--是--是!我猜是,我想是,不知道!哦,肯定是……我在那(儿)……我在那(儿)!’

“‘哦,太荣幸!太珍贵,太荣幸!他遗言,哦,告诉我,告诉我,他遗言!啥遗言?’

“他说……他说……哦,我的头,我的头,我的头!他说……他说……他什么也没说,只是说,检票了,检票了,检票时,当面检!哦,离开吧,您,夫人!求求你,慷慨点,离开我,让我疯,让我痛,让我绝望吧!黄色票,六分钱;粉色票,三分钱;强忍耐,难持续!检票时,当面检!检票时!当面检!’”

【翻译津要】

(102)--(116)译文均按照三节拍设置。

【英语原文】

(117) My friend’s hopeless eyes rested upon mine a pregnant minute, and then he said impressively, --

(118) “Mark, you do not say anything.(119) You do not offer me any hope.(120) But, ah me, it is just as well -- it is just as well.(121) You could not do me any good.(122) The time has long gone by when words could comfort me.(123) Something tells me that my tongue is doomed towag forever to the jigger of that remorseless jingle.(124) There -- there it is coming on me again: a blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, a buff trip slip for a --”

(125) Thus murmuring faint and fainter, my friend sank into a peaceful trance and forgot his sufferings in a blessed respite.

【原文解读】

     牧师某先生的善良,拯救了死者的姑姑,却让自己进入了痛苦的深渊:无助的眼神(117);除此外,还在拯救作者:让作者别接话(118);别给留任何希望(119);并继续用三节拍说话(120),宁愿自己遭殃,也不想祸害他人(121)。同时还安慰作者说,时间久了,也就适应了(122)。而且认为自己是命中注定(123):靠嘴吃饭,必中招着魔。说着随口又冒出了那首顺口溜(124)。最后,牧师某先生陷入了昏睡状态(125)。但神职人员牧师某先生的一席话打动(impressively)了作者(117),反衬出凡夫俗子的邪心。

【汉语译文】

     朋友用他那无助的眼神,盯着我的眼睛,意味深长地看了一分钟,接着朋友的话令人难忘:

“马克,你什么也别说了。别给我什么希望。而我呢,倒也好---倒也好。说什么,无用了。时间久了,也就适应了。我猜想,我的舌头注定会跟着那玩意儿--无情的旋律—不停地打转。这,这,这又来了:蓝色票,八分钱;黄色票,……”就这样,喃喃自语声模糊了,越来越模糊了,朋友陷入了恍惚之中,无声无息,暂时甜蜜地忘记了苦恼。

【翻译津要】

     (117) 此句中pregnant意为rich in significance or implication,此处译为:意味深长。Impressively译为:令人难忘。(118)(119)不难翻译。(120)it is just as well译为:倒也好。(121) You could not do me any good字义为:你不可能对我有好处;此处根据情境译为:说什么,无用了。(122) The time has long gone by when words could comfort me.字义为:但那些字词能够安慰我时,时间已经过了很久了。此处译为:时间久了,也就适应了。(122) is doomed to译为:注定。

【英语原文】

(126)How did I finally save him from the asylum? (127)I took him to a neighboring university and made him discharge the burden of his persecuting rhymes into the eager ears of the poor, unthinking students.(128) How is it with them, now? (129) The result is too sad to tell.(130)Why did I write this article? (131)It was for a worthy, even a noble, purpose. (132)It was to warn you, reader, if you should come across those merciless rhymes, to avoid them -- avoid them as you would a pestilence!

【原文解读】

    牧师朋友的良心最终打动了作者,作者决定把牧师朋友从精神病医院中拯救出来(126),但这种魔咒是无药可救的,唯一可救的方法是要么自愿接受传染,要么传染给别人。自愿接受传染是高尚,传染给别人是卑鄙。作者选择了卑鄙,将魔咒传染给了天真无知的学生。此句(127)是整篇小说的主题核心句,暗示凡夫俗子皆有蒙骗他人之心,即或作者这样有知识的成人,连自己要好的牧师朋友也都要欺骗蒙蔽,更不用说那些与自己没有多大关系的天真无辜的学生。结果(128)可想而知(129)。作者冠冕堂皇地(130)说出自己写作目的(131):警告学生:不可轻信魔咒。

【汉语译文】

    我怎样才能把把他从精神病医院救出来呢?我把他带到附近一所大学,让他摆脱那蛊惑的旋律的骚扰,把它传递到那些可怜的学生耳朵中,因为他们虽然无知却充满着渴望。如今那些学生又怎么样呢?结果羞于启口。我为什么要写这篇文章呢?目的有一个,不仅有价值,甚至很高尚。就是要警告你,各位读者,如果你碰到类似无情的旋律,理当避而远之,避而远之,视之瘟疫!

【翻译津要】

     (126)—(128)(130)(131)不难翻译。(129) The 

result is too sad to tell,此处译为:结果羞于启口。(132)原文if you should come across those merciless rhymes, to avoid them -- avoid them as you would a pestilence!此句为表将来的非真实条件句,内容具有劝诫性。因此,翻译to avoid…a pestilence时用略带古语的格式和字词来翻译。

选自颜林海《英美短篇小说解读与译赏》