Sophia playing at Carnegie Hall in 2007.

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.
第二,中国妈妈认为孩子应该感激他们为其做的所有事情。有这种想法的原因不是很清楚,不过很可能是由于子女要孝顺父母的儒家观念,再加上父母也为了孩子做了许多牺牲,这两点相结合的原因吧!(确实,中国妈妈做的很深入,亲自为孩子煮粥,督促练习,时常询问,跟踪。)不管怎么说,中国孩子要花很多时间来服从父母,让父母感到自豪!

By contrast, I don't think most Westerners have the same view of children being permanently indebted to their parents. My husband, Jed, actually has the opposite view. "Children don't choose their parents," he once said to me. "They don't even choose to be born. It's parents who foist life on their kids, so it's the parents' responsibility to provide for them. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids." This strikes me as a terrible deal for the Western parent.http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
不管怎么说,我不认为多数西方人都认为他们会永久受惠于父母的教育。我丈夫,杰德,实际上就持有与我相反的观点,“孩子不能选择他们的父母”他曾经对我说,“甚至不能决定被出生,是父母给了孩子生命,供养孩子是父母的责任,孩子不欠父母任何东西,父母的一生都是为了孩子。”这些话深深的震撼了我。

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.
第三,中国父母相信他们知道什么对孩子最好,所以就无视孩子们的要求与爱好。这就是中国女孩不能在中学交男朋友,孩子不能外出宿营的原因。这也是中国孩子不敢对妈妈说“我在校园剧里扮演了角色,我是6号村民,每天放学后3:00-7:00我还要参加彩排,周六我还需要一辆单车。”上帝会帮助每个努力奋进的中国孩子!

Don't get me wrong: It's not that Chinese parents don't care about their children. Just the opposite. They would give up anything for their children. It's just an entirely different parenting model.http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
不要误导我:那不是中国父母不关心自己的孩子。只需换位思考下,他们可以为孩子放弃一切。这是一种完全不同的教育模式。

Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.
这是一个中国式强迫兴趣的故事。露露7岁了,仍然在学习两种乐器,经常弹奏法国作曲家雅克.伊贝尔的一支名为“可爱小白驴”的曲子。曲子写的很好,你可以想象一头可爱的小驴和它的主人漫步在乡间小路上的情景。但这对如此年龄的小孩子来说是太难了,因为很难保持在那么复杂的韵律之间不会晕头转向。

Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
露露做不来。我们给她做工作,演练她那太僵硬的手指,一次又一次。但每次我们把她的手指合在一起时,另一指又变形了,所有的都是分开的。终于,在决定给她教训之前,露露恼怒的表示她将放弃练琴,还不停的跺脚。

"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
“现在回到钢琴旁!”我命令道。

"You can't make me."http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
“你不能管我!”

"Oh yes, I can."
“哦,我能。”http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.回到钢琴旁后,露露让我付出了代价。她很不情愿的乱按着着琴键,又突然抢去乐谱,把它撕得粉碎。我把乐谱粘回了原来的样子,并把它放在一个塑料夹里,这样她就永远也不会再毁坏它了。我拉着露露的玩具屋到了汽车旁,告诉她:如果明天不能把“小白驴”弹好,我就把你的玩具一件一件的都捐给救世军。当我听到露露说:你早应该把它们弄走了,为什么现在还在这。我吓唬她说,不准吃午饭,不准吃晚饭,没有圣诞节礼物,没有光明节礼物,不准办生日聚会,两年,三年,甚至四年。当她仍旧弹错时,我对她说:你这样做只会使自己更狂躁因为你内心告诉自己你弹不好。我让她不要再懒散,懦弱,任性和自卑。

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
杰德把我叫到另一边。他说不要再羞辱露露了——即使我根本没有那么做,我只是在给她动力,他不认为恐吓会对露露有所帮助。他还说,也许露露根本不需要这项技能——她的的协调力不够好,“你认为我说的对吗?”

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.
“你这是对她没有信心。”我警告他说。http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."
“这真荒谬!我当然对她有信心!”杰德轻蔑的说道。

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."
“索菲亚在她这个年龄的时候,就能弹好那个乐谱了!”

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.
“但是索菲亚和露露是不同的人!”杰德指出。http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."
“不,不是这样的。”我瞪着眼睛说道,“每个人都有天赋的,即使孤儿也有他的才能。好,你不用动一根手指,我去教她直到她会为止,我愿意做那个恶人!而你会成为他们崇拜的那个人的,因为你教她们薄煎饼还带她们去参加美国佬的活动。”

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
我挽起袖子,走到露露身边,对她使用了各种武器和策略。我们一直练习到了吃晚饭的时间,这时,我仍旧没有让她停下,不准喝水,不准去洗手间。整个房间变成了战场。我不再大喊大叫,但我仍然在那里看着她消极的练习着。我也曾一度怀疑过我的做法。http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

Then, out of the blue, Lulu did it. Her hands suddenly came together—her right and left hands each doing their own imperturbable thing—just like that.
终于,那种令人沮丧的气氛消失了,露露做到了。她的手能够协调的在一起弹奏了——左手和右手各自泰然自若的弹着。

Lulu realized it the same time I did. I held my breath. She tried it tentatively again. Then she played it more confidently and faster, and still the rhythm held. A moment later, she was beaming.
露露和我同时觉察到了成功的来临。我深出了一口气。露露又毫不犹豫的弹了一遍。这次更加自信,更快,更能抓住节奏了。过了一会,她开始变得笑盈盈的了。http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

"Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her."
“妈妈,看,这太简单了!”她想再多弹几遍,舍不得离开钢琴。那天晚上,我让让她和我睡在了一起。我们依偎着拥抱着,彼此之间再没有隔阂。当她在几个星期后的独奏会上弹奏那首“小白驴”时,家长们都跑过来对我说:“露露表现的多么棒啊!她太厉害了!”http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

Even Jed gave me credit for that one. Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.http://www.24en.com爱思英语网
从那以后,杰德也对我赞加不已。西方父母很担心孩子的自尊,但是作为父母,你对孩子的自尊做的最坏的事情就是让他们丢失自尊。虽然那样做很无礼,但是能建立他们的信心,比让他们自己去想自己更适合做什么要好的多!

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
市场上的许多书,描写的亚洲妈妈们都是一个诡计多端,无情,压榨,漠不关心孩子真正兴趣的形象。在他们的眼里:中国父母盲目的认为他们很关心自己的孩子,为了孩子比西方人愿意牺牲更多,表面看起来很会和孩子沟通让他们走出困境。我认为这是一种误解。所有的好父母都想为孩子做到最好,只不过中国父母是用了另外一种不同的观念来实施的。

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
西方父母努力做到尊重孩子的个性,鼓励他们追求自己想要的,支持他们的选择,给予积极的暗示和培养环境。相比之下,中国父母认为保护孩子的最好方法是为将来做好准备,让他们认识到他们是有能力做好每件事的,帮助他们获得某项技能,好的工作习惯和自信,这是其他任何人都夺不走的。http://www.24en.com爱思英语网

—Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School and author of "Day of Empire" and "World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability." This essay is excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, to be published Tuesday by the Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua.
——Amy Chua,耶鲁法学院教授,著有《帝国时代》,《燃烧的世界 - 自由经济和民主的输出是怎样繁衍出种族仇恨和环球不安的》。这篇文章摘自她的《凶妈妈的育儿经》,企鹅出版社(美国企鹅集团下属企业之一)周二将出版。 Copyright © 2011 by Amy Chua.http://www.24en.com爱思英语网