大雪无痕06

It is almost the same case that in most cities, besides officials of the Party, the governments and the army, the buildings of TV stations, banks and customs headquarters are the most magnificent, the most refined and the most symbolic ones. There was no exception to the TV Station Ding Jie was working in. each time she walked on the mirror-like marble floor and touched the chromium-plated metal doorknob with decorative patterns, Ding would always consider it more proper to wear the kind of extremely costly suli coat which was recently appearing in the department stores. It was black or brown, with furry luster and felt rather comfortable. It was warm and light, making you appear natural and noble. However, at another time, she hoped to dressed casually for she would constantly ran into some middle-aged grass-roots fellows, who were eager to meet a kind director here and vent their complaints directly on TV. Most of them had been to Beijing and had tried every means to contact with ‘Focal Report’ or ‘CCTV News’. They were out all the year round, with a small quilt and a ragged trunk. Some of them could even recite fluently the policy articles of various periods and the speeches given by leaders in the Party Central Committee. But others were not clear-headed, keeping nagging all the time. Some of them would come straight for Ding because they knew that she was Director of the News Department and anxiously pleaded her to redress their injustices. Each time this happened, the guards at the gate would make a signal to Ding in advance. She then would drive her dark green Opel car through another gate, avoiding a facial encounter with them. Of course, most of the people passing by the gate were the most excited group in the city, on whose faces, there would always be an expression of self-confident and fatigued excitement. They were deemed by almost all the people to be most fortunate.

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No one stopped Ding at the gate that day, so she came to the main building smoothly. However, as she arrived at the large office of the News Department, she got surrounded by the editors and journalists working below her, who were competitively young and modern. Before Ding arrived, they had been discussing the shooting case at the Lai Feng Manor lat night. When she came to the glass box with ‘News Department Director’ printed on the door, she had no time to turn on the computer habitually and read E-mails. Even before she could have found time to take off her brown nylon coat, changed her woman-styled colored boots stuck with mud and snow, pour a package of Nestle coffee and eat a couple of advanced cookie biscuits had they rushed in, led by the youngest female journalist of course. Then all the others swarmed in, which really startled Ding.

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“Sister Ding, it’s said that you were on the spot when Secretary Zhang of the Municipal Government was shot last night…”

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“There was still a long distance, almost one hundred meters from the spot.” said Ding, bending to fetch her thermos-bottle.

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A female journalist grabbed her thermos-bottle, poured the coffee for her and asked, “Do you know how the police judge the case? Who will be the possible criminal? What’s his purpose? It’s said that quite a many policemen had been stationed at the Lai Feng Manor last night to protect important leaders. Why did the criminal choose such an unfavorable time and place?”

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Ding took up her coffee, shrugged her shoulders and made an extremely exaggerated gesture. Then she said with a smile, “Ladies and gentlemen, are you forcing to hold a press conference? But I’m not involved in any activities taken by the police, let alone that with the criminal. So I can’t answer all your questions. I now announce that the press conference is over.”

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“Sister Ding, you are only less than one hundred meters from the spot, then you are sure to hear the shooting clearly…” The youngest editor curled his lips and asked.

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Ding denied quickly, “No. I haven’t heard any gunshot at all. It’s said to be rather blunt.”

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“No matter you heard it or not, you were very near to the spot. Would you reveal some inside stories? After all, we are news workers.” The youngest editor insisted.

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Ding had to stop them with the leaders’ orders. At two in the morning, the TV Station leader had phoned her and emphasized that according to the instructions concerned, the shooting case couldn’t be made public in any program or in any form. The News Department should guard the pass recently. And the disciplines in publicity would be reaffirmed to the journalists and editors. “Mind your post if violating the discipline!” Ding warned in a serious joking way.

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They all became silent. At this moment, the telephone on Ding’s desk rang, which was from a entrance guard who told her that a policeman was about to see her. “Policeman? What’s his name?” Ding hesitated for a moment. The worker told her that it was a Mr. Fang. Ding got angry at once. “Mr. Fang? Is he Fang Yulin? Tell him that I’ll receive any policeman except Fang.” said she as she hang up the phone with a loud bang.

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Of course the entrance guard didn’t know what was the matter and had to transmit Ding’s words to Fang. However, Fang was not worried. He gave the worker a cigarette, and stood there silently for some while. While the worker was looking for matches, he suddenly turned and walked through the gate. The worker was about to stop him when Fang turned, made a gesture of apology and threw a lighter to him. After that, he went straight forward.

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A few minutes later, Fang appeared before Ding, who seemed to have foreseen this. Ding was too familiar with Fang, who would try every means to do what he wished to. He had long before told her that the purpose to create man was to let him complete all that should be done as soon as possible and that he would be no man if he didn’t want to work hard or failed to try every means to complete what should be done. Maybe for the sake of having lived in a rather careful and formal atmosphere, she was especially unaccustomed to and uneasy about Fang’s straightforwardness and rudeness in speaking manners. However, she felt rather happy in her heart, because Fang had been showing something missing in her heart, which she had been longing. This was something primitive but tenacious. Ding had even guessed that it was for the money that Fang came here to scold her.

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However, she still felt somewhat puzzled when Fang did emerge before her. Fearing that Fang might embarrass her before her subordinates, she checked him quickly, “Fang Yulin…”

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However, Fang signaled her not to speak as he closed the door. Then he took out a swelled envelope made of kraft paper and laid it slightly before Ding.

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Sure enough, it was the fifteen hundred yuan she gave to Fang’s family.

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Fang said calmly, “Please count it. Fifteen hundred yuan.”

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For some unknown reason, Ding should have shed tears suddenly. She yelled with fury, “Fang Yulin, don’t bully me to much!”

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Maybe Ding’s screech was so loud that all the editors and journalists outside turned and had a curious peer at the Director’s Room.

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Fang again checked Ding by putting a finger before his lips.

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With that envelope, Ding came out without turning her head.

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They hurried out of the bright and wide corridor, through an afforested district at the main yard and to a sub-building at the back yard. They cane to a deserted room. No one else was there. Then     Ding stared at Fang hard and said, “OK, I’ll take back the money. I have been blind all these years!”

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Fang said, “I have a word with you.”

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Ding asked, “Public or private?”

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Fang answered, “Private.”

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Ding said, “Just shut your mouth if it’s a private matter.”

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Fang said, “You have to listen.”

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Ding had to say, “OK, speak.”

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Fang said, “I know you are kind to me, kind to my family.”

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Ding got more irritated and shouted, “Shut your mouth.”

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Fang ignored her. “I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart! Lord can prove that I have no such intimate relationship with any female except you. I’m absolutely serious and prudent in dealing with the relationship between us. But…”

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Ding laughed coldly, “What a ‘but’!”

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Fang continued, “But I have been disturbed by a feeling time and again. I want to get rid of it, but I have failed. I have told myself time and again that it is just an illusion. However, since it appears time and again, I finally realize that it is not completely an illusion. Even if it is, we would pay attention to it…”

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Ding interrupted Fang, “I know what you want to say.”

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Fang said, “Maybe you have long before felt that there are so many differences in life experience, family education, characteristics and inner thoughts between us… It’s really improper for us to live together…”

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Ding refuted, “No, I have no such a feeling.”

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Fang said, “Ding, you always say you are a female more rational than perceptual, but why not be more sensitive, more objective and calmer in dealing with this matter? You should believe that what I said just now is from the inner world of a dutiful and mature man. It’s also painful for me to draw such a conclusion.”

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Ding uttered no words. Her face went pale. Sitting beside Fang, she could feel the moistened luster around the corner of her eyes. After a long while, Ding suddenly stood up. Though her eyes were still moistened, she had regained her tranquility. She said, “Yes, I’ve said that I’m a more rational female. And if your memory is not so bad, you should remember what else I have said. I’m also a very obstinate, very self-confident female, who will sometimes get into temper. No matter what happens, I’ll never let others decide what I should do or not do. I won’t force others to love something, but will not let others dominate me, either, telling me that I should love something…”

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Fang said, “I don’t mean to dominate you, but after all, it’s a matter between two sides. What’s more, you see… I’m nearly thirty years old and it can’t be delayed any more…”

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Ding said, “What to delay? If you are anxious to marry another woman, don’t get me involved.”

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It was really hard for Fang to explain. “How come I’m anxious to marry another woman?”

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Ding pointed to the envelope and said, “This was indeed sent by me, but the idea was not completely mine. I know you very well. I know it would surely hurt your self-esteem to send you money. But my father insisted on me doing that. He has been caring for the health of your father, his old subordinate as well as for your family all the time. So, if you really want to reject the money, please send it back directly to my father.” Then she threw the envelope back to Fang with a loud bang and went out.

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